


Bruises and Bumps

by Dramaticdragon



Category: Captain Underpants Series - Dav Pilkey
Genre: (which means basically none), Canon Typical Violence, Gen, can yall believe i wrote this, krupp adopts two troublemakers but refuses to admit to it, nothin but sweet kind family relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-09 03:39:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11096112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dramaticdragon/pseuds/Dramaticdragon
Summary: Poor Mr. Krupp always wakes up with the 'leftovers' from Captain's fights. Thankfully, he has two little pals who make sure he's okay. (no shipping! Just family relationships)





	Bruises and Bumps

**Author's Note:**

> Local principal adopts two pranksters against his own will
> 
> (EDIT NOTE: for some reason i must have been drunk writing this bc i forgot the story STARTS with them in FOURTH GRADE and not FIRST (i read another book series at the same time in my childhood where the kid was in first grade so i think i mixed the ages up?). so uh now i know but i'm just gonna leave this. pretend the story takes place in first grade just for the next five minutes and then go back to actual canon. sorry yall!)

            “Argh… My back…” Krupp groaned, laying on his back on his bed, “What did you do…”

            Krupp slowly pulled himself out of his hole in the bed, still shaped with his silhouette.

            All that he got for an answer was a bright orange Post-It note on his clock with ‘Sorry!’ written on it. It was written even sloppier than the Captain’s normal handwriting, and the note was crumpled on the edges, so Krupp could only guess the type of battle Captain must have dealt with the night before.

            “Couldn’t you at least take pain medicine before going to bed…” He complained, pulling himself out of bed and heading to the bathroom. The good news, was that it was Saturday, so he wouldn’t have to worry about going to work in pain.

            When he reached the bathroom, he nearly screamed in surprise. His left eye was swollen nearly shut (the only reason he hadn’t already noticed the lack of sight, was because he was too tired), nose bloodied at the ends, and his lip swollen too.

            “What type of monster…” He asked himself, sadly reaching over to the first-aid kit that was well-used.

            Krupp carefully washed his face, then opened up the box, taking out a number of creams and bandages, trying to get as much cleaned up as possible. He got ready to take a shower, which was easy since Captain always left him in nothing but his underwear anyway. As expected, there were many other bruises and bumps along the rest of his body.

            Hardly five minutes after stepping out of the shower, Krupp heard the doorbell ring.

            “Who could possibly be coming to my house at this time of day…” He said to himself, quickly snagging a bathrobe and marching to the door. He hadn’t ordered any packages- or, at least _he, Krupp,_ hadn’t ordered any. Did Captain even know how to order stuff on Amazon?

            “What?” Krupp asked, angrily swinging open the door.

            Instead of a bored postal worker, he was greeted by the faces of two worried little third graders.

            “You’re okay!” They both shouted, immediately jumping up to hug him in joy.

            “Ah!” Krupp jumped, trying to pry off the boys, “George, Harold, get off of me! I just got out of the shower, I don’t need more dirt on me!”

            “But you’re okay!” George said, as they both listened and slowly released their principal.

            “Yeah, yeah, hardly,” Krupp grumbled, rubbing his still sore back, “Care to explain why I woke up feeling like I was run over by a truck?”

            “It’s…” Harold started, nervously glancing over to George, “Kinda a long story.”

            “Long story short: we won!” George finished.

            Krupp sighed. Clearly, he wasn’t going to get a straight answer out of the boys. He’d have to Post-It Note interrogate Captain later. After a moment of annoyance, he glanced down at the boys and realized they weren’t without a couple bruises themselves.

            “Are you boys okay?” He asked, trying not to sound _too_ worried.

            “We’re fine!” George said.

            “You saved us!” Harold continued.

            “Yeah, well, you’re welcome,” Krupp rolled his eyes, although the anger in his actions was severely lacking.

            “Look, I’m only saying this because I’m your principal and I’m legally required to look after your wellbeing,” Krupp said, opening the door slightly wider, “But come in so I can get you two some ice packs for your bruises.”         

            “Thanks, Mr. Krupp!” They both chimed as they ran in, plopping down immediately on the couch.

            Had this been two years earlier, when they were still in first grade, Mr. Krupp would have never allowed this. He would have kicked the boys off his lawn before they even got to say a single word, let alone invite them in and give them ice packs. But after learning about his ‘double identity’ and eventually growing closer to George and Harold (‘ _tolerating’_ is the word Krupp insists on using, but George, Harold, and even Captain call it ‘ _almost-adoption_ ’).

It was probably too late for the ice packs to really have much effect, but at least it would ease his guilty consequence.

            “Thanks, Mr. Krupp,” they both said as he handed them some of his space ice packs from the freezer.

            He only answered with a small grunt, going through his pantry to find the pain medicine.

            “He was really cool last night, Mr. Krupp.” Harold started, looking up somewhat nervously to Mr. Krupp.

            “Huh?” He said, taking a drink of water with his medicine.

            “Captain Underpants!” Harold continued, “We was really great last night. He was a hero!”

            “Mhm,” Krupp nodded, thinking for a moment.       

            “So, you’re kinda a hero, too,” George continued, pointing to Mr. Krupp.

            “No, that’s just the other guy,” Krupp laughed sourly, putting down his glass.

            “We mean it!” Harold nodded.

            “Yeah, yeah,” Krupp sighed, joining them on the couch with a finally finished cup of coffee and turning on the news, “I appreciate the sentiment.”    

            “Come on, Mr. Krupp!” George said, looking up earnestly, “You’re a hero, too!”

            “And how exactly am I? It’s the other guy who did all the action last night, I just share the bruises.”

            “Not in a super-villain kinda way,” Harold said, his voice suddenly sounding more serious than Mr. Krupp thought possible for these two, “In a… in a principal kinda way!”

            “What?” Krupp deadpanned.

            “You’re a hero, because hero’s save stuff!” Harold continued, building up momentum, “And since second grade, you’ve been saving _the school_! You brought art programs back, you brought class musicals back, and you even took down those nasty ‘no imagination’ posters!”

            “Well… Those were just ridiculous anyway. I’m not trying to be anyone’s friend here, okay?” Krupp said, trying to convince the boys that he’s still the ‘evil principal’ that he always was. After you get so used to something, it feels weird to be seen as someone else.

            “Sure, sure,” George nodded, rolling his eyes.

            After two years, the boys started to see Mr. Krupp less as a mean principal and more as an uncle who happened to work at the school. They were still trouble makers who got detention every week, and Mr. Krupp still was fond of his disciplinary ways, but there were a few rare occasions when Mr. Krupp would let them off easy. After some rough battles with Captain Underpants, they occasionally fell asleep in class. See, normally, Mr. Krupp would have yelled his head off at them and sent them back to class with a detention. Nowadays, he lets them take a 15 minute break-nap in his office while he finishes his paperwork. Since he, too, wakes up with all the same bruises and aches as they would, he’s started to understand why they might need a couple more minutes of sleep. Afterwards, he’d send them off to class, only if they agreed to act like he just gave them the scolding of a lifetime. It was a pretty well-oiled system, after two years. And it was only getting better.

            Of course, their typical pranks got punished like they used to, but they didn’t expect that to change.

            “We outa get going,” George said, his ice pack already room temperature, “Thank you, Mr. Krupp!”

            “And please tell Captain we said thank you!” Harold added, both getting off the couch and heading towards the door.

            “Will do,” Krupp said quietly.

            As the boys reached the front door, he called out quickly:

            “Hey.”

            They looked back.

            “Thanks.”

**Author's Note:**

> about me: i read and reread every CU book when i was little. like ALL THE TIME. and now the movie has just revamped my love.


End file.
